© by Robin M. Gilliam
Did you ever wonder why relationships can be so challenging and why they don’t always last?Was it me or was it them? What did I do wrong? Why don’t you like me anymore?
Someone once said to me that friendships are for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. That made it easier for me to accept that people slide into and out of my life depending on the situation. Like when I was the president of a non-profit organization and everyone knew me and wanted to talk to me, reaching out with emails, calls, and texts. Now that my term is up nobody even reaches out if I miss a monthly meeting. Some people would call this fair weather, I would call it a season and the season is up.
What about those relationships where there is a bond and a friendship and one day it is there and the next gone? What happened? I recently had a beautiful friendship that developed on my commuter bus. We bonded over our love for helping others, climbing out of a painful trauma, and developing as entrepreneurs. It was very strong for about a year. Then a last meet-up at Starbucks, long hug and she moved across the country. We pledged to keep in touch, but our reason had passed as a grandchild was born, our missions changed, and the time differences got in the way.
Then the most painful, a five+ year friendship built on helping each other in our recovery, gone. Like a candle flame blown out, leaving only remnants of smoke billowing into the air and an acid taste in my mouth, knowing that once again, addiction was somehow involved. I thought this one was for a lifetime, but I guess it was really just a season without a reason.
I am writing this blog to help me process this pain. Because even though pain often triggers thoughts of using something to numb me out, I know I deserve to get IT out through creative expression to keep my recovery strong.